They call me the Iceman.
Nah, dude, chale, I don’t go round icing gente. I just was frozen. Yeah, some of the other homies were frozen too, but it’s me they call El Iceman.
I don’t remember much after I got sucked into the alien’s mouth, but I am the only one who remembers being frozen. The other homies, they be walking round like mensos still. They kinda lost, sabes?
Anywayz, I used to be El Loco, but now I’m the Iceman.
What do I remember? Damn, homie, I remember waking up to this bright light and I thought I was dead. You know how they say you see white light and shit when you die? This light was so white it hurt. It was the gringo of lights man. Just glared at you like the chotas do when we get stopped and made my skin crawl. I remember opening my eyes and trying to raise my arm up to block that light. I remember asking if this was hell, because in my heaven, there ain’t no damned aliens and there were alien motherfuckers here.
After I got used to the light, I checked ‘em out. There were seven of them, but these fools didn’t look like the fuckers we were battling in the park, nah. These fuckers were taller, a different color that I can’t really describe. It just seemed off like God don’t make that color and it was as alien as they were.
Those seven fuckers were standing round me in a circle and I could see all these maquinas and shit flashing lights and beeping. I could see Dopey laid out on a table next to me, but that homie was out cold and naked. That freaked me out and I remember looking down and sure enough, my shit wasn’t covered either. What the fuck? These motherfuckers where checking my dick? I remember yanking myself up and elbowing one in the jaw and then a sharp sting. Next thing I knew, I was hanging upside down from a hook with a bunch of other homies all round me wrapped up like those goddamned cocoons in Mrs. Gerber’s science class.
I tried struggling out of it, but I was wrapped too tight and I was so fucking cold I almost couldn’t breathe. I tried talking to the homies, but those fools were out too. I was the only one awake. Don’t know why. Maybe I resisted what they shot me up with. Maybe it was the chiva I had tried before the shit went down at the parque. Either way, I was awake but couldn’t do shit and that sucked the big verga…
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